


When the Situation Snowballs

by tendervittles



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Cute, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Inappropriate Use of the Force, M/M, No Sex, When I'm not tagging a laundry list of kinks I don't know what to tag
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-20
Updated: 2016-01-19
Packaged: 2018-05-15 03:00:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5768824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tendervittles/pseuds/tendervittles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Star Killer Base is covered in snow.  Do you think there are ever snowball fights between personnel?</p>
<p>And what would happen if Kylo Ren and General Hux gets involved?</p>
<p>A ridiculous idea I had, told in three parts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When the Situation Snowballs

**Author's Note:**

> Suffice it to say, I had a VERY silly idea.
> 
> I also have a theory that sometimes Kylo Ren is often confused by social situations and will ask Captain Phasma to explain them to him. Probably because he can't see her facial expressions under that Stormtrooper helmet.

The first time Kylo Ren was hit by a snowball walking outside the facilities of Star Killer Base, he drew his lightsaber in one fluid motion and whipped around, wildly searching for the perpetrator. When there was none to be found, he stalked off to see Captain Phasma and demand answers.

"Someone threw a handful of snow at me."

Without his mask, the words would have come out in a rush, betraying abject yet earnest distress over the occurance. Instead, the lag as each word was filtered through the voice distortion mechanism slowed Kylo's pronouncement, with the added bonus of hiding any hint of emotion.

"A snowball, sir?" Captain Phasma asked without turning from the screen she had been focused on when Kylo unexpectedly barged in.

"...A snowball. Yes, Captain. What is the meaning of this?"

Phasma's protective helmet had the added bonus of failing to transmit the small sigh that escaped passed her lips. At some point during their extended tenue on the base, Phasma had developed an understanding of Kylo Ren's relative ignorance to the intricacies of certain social situations. These things were occasionally just lost on the leader of the Knights of Ren, and somehow it had fallen on her shoulders to carefully help Ren navigate these moments of confusion.

As if she didn't have enough to concern herself with.

"Snowball fights." Phasma explained cautiously. "I saw no reason to put an end to it. On the contrary, I've incorporated the game into my training program. I thought it prudent in light of... recent events. It builts camraderie and helps foster loyalty within my units."

"Hm."

Phasma waited for Ren to speak further, but the silence stretched to an unbearable point.

"I could tell them to leave you out of it." She offered eventually.

"Yes, well. That won't be necessary. Good work, Captain."

With a curt nod, Ren ended their conversation and swept from the room in a swill of black robes, leaving Phasma to reflect on how increasingly bizarre her job had become.

***********

The first time Kylo Ren was hit by a snowball, he had cried.

Well, he hadn't CRIED-cried. But there had been tears in his eyes and his initial anger was tinged with the sting of preceived rejection by his underlings, which was apparently such that it would motivate one to hurl a chunk of frozen water at his back. 

His reaction didn't indicate weakness -- the Supreme Leader had taught him to embrace his volatile emotions and his rage, even if it did stem from disappointment, was an emotion just like outright anger or hatred. Such was the price of the power of the Dark Side, but he was learning to appreciate the pain; it kept him connected to his power.

(Although he WAS relieved when Phasma had explained that the snowball hadn't been thrown as an expression of hostility.)

Kylo had even begun participating in this -- what had Phasma called it? Loyalty exercise? 

He didn't join one of the teams that the Stormtroopers set up, of course. Nor did he stoop in the snow to build a fort and an arsensal of perfectly crafted icy spheres. Mostly, he just stood outside with his lightsaber and let the Stormtroopers try to hit him with their frozen projectiles, which he then slashed out of the air in a hiss of steam. No one could succeed in hitting him. He wouldn't allow it, especially after that first incident, and, as knocking snowballs out of the air grew boring, he began inviting anyone daring enough to try to land a sneak attack.

Walking outside was less now about taking a leisurely stroll or inspecting Phasma's defenses and more about affecting an guise of nonchalance to try an entice an attempt.

Kylo was perfectly content with this game, until General Hux took it upon himself to join in.

***********

It was no secret that Kylo Ren and General Hux each harbored a seething dislike for the other. Their constant bickering was an accepted fact of life around Star Killer Base; even Snoke was used to it by now. What did come as a surprise was that straightlaced General Hux, strict adherent to rules and order and no great lover of sport, would deign to intigrate himself into a game for subordinates for the sole purpose of aggravating the Supreme Leader's student.

But that was exactly what Hux did. 

It certainly took more planning than expected; no one was in any great rush to lend a hand, even to assist a superior officer, when the task involved conceiving a plan to mess with Kylo Ren. All that blustering, lightsaber destruction and fits of rage, somehow it all had everybody fooled. Even Snoke wasn't immune. Hux had a theory that, in some way, those Force-sensitive and bonded by a master-student relationship were blinded to certain realities.

But he wouldn't be sharing those thoughts anytime soon.

Instead he would content himself by humiliating Kylo Ren with his own antics. It wasn't the most dignified solution, but it would take Ren down a few pegs and make Hux feel good until the Supreme Leader authorized use of the weapon.

The first part of the plan was simple. Hux just had to ensure that Ren was so angry that his emotions blinded him to the sneak attack that would then be executed.

It wasn't very hard. Ren was more volatile than a weapon designed to drain the power of the sun in order to wipe out entire planetary systems, after all.


End file.
